IT IS ALMOST TIME TO WEAR THE GREAT AMERICAN DESIGNER FACE MASK. PANIC IN STYLE!

The lowly pig is once again the bad guy. No huffing and puffing; I do not wish to contract anything swine related that has mated with ilk-virals from avians or the like to form a super bug of unknown proportion. And so we wait, watching, as we have done many times before since the 1918 super flu killed a large chunk of the world population, scaring ourselves with campfire tales of massive death and destruction, death with no rhyme or reason, simply because some corporate greed decided to merge virus strains just because. You have to admit, like the nasty roller coaster ride you pay for at theme parks, there is an element of anxiety in the not knowing, a fresh coat of appreciation for that little lot we have, the scrapings we have eked out despite the recession, now potentially able to be sneezed away before a rapid death. At this juncture, even by Mexican standards, the death toll there is not massively high next to the population as a whole, or death by drug lords, earthquake, toxic chemicals or car accident. And for those in the US infected, it seems that they have just another flu, let alone anything toxic. The CDC says that could change in an instant, and maybe so. Break out the gas masks and go buy a ton of canaries. It reminds me of the worries about the Avian Flu, and the fears that a resurgence of a global epidemic might wipe out humanity once again. As I read the science data there I was struck by the notion that as with all viruses, resistance is acquired through exposure; in the 1918 super flu, those who survived were immune. Those who were not either died or survived now immune to that strain. Hardly a worry for resurgence. That is not to say there are not other viral strains. What about AIDS? West Nile? Avian Flu? The list goes on.  Each flu season it seems like we get sicker and sicker, new and gut wrenching variations of bugs that assail us at every opportunity. Those of us with children, or exposed to children in an education setting know that they are a cesspool of viral agents sinisterly recombining until something pulls your intestines in side out for a few days. Isn't that the cost of being human? Adapt and survive. Or don't.  We have become too accustomed to expect that we all have a right to life just from being born. The lessons of the past are painfully present in the history books and battlefields turned shrines. Besides 40,000 people die in the United States in auto related accidents, 44,000 smoking related deaths, 300,000 deaths related to obesity, 14,561 deaths due to AIDS related causes and so on. No one knows why the non-Mexican victims are not getting the deadly consequences at this time. Perhaps it has to do with out ridiculous exposure to vaccines from birth these days. Perhaps it is our ongoing exposure to other viral agents. Perhaps it is our rapid response when we run to the doctor at every sneeze, demanding antibiotics, even though they do not work on viruses. Perhaps it is just that Americans don't put up kindly with dropping like flies.  In time,  I am sure we will find out the real reason. What I do know is that someday soon there will be designer face masks claiming to be sanitary and stylish at the same time, the new apparel for life-minded people. And Billy Mays will be shouting his special offer at you: "Buy one now and we'll even through in two more for free, and if you call now you can get the special flu-buster handcream." And whether or not the flu ever grips this country like it has Mexico, some fat-assed pharmaceutical company executives will be getting filthy rich off the production of marginally effective anti-flu medication driving stocks through the roof and signaling an economic recovery of sorts until they get sued for causing brain damage or causing spontaneous sex changes amongst the population as a whole. That is if we do not learn that they started the whole thing to begin with. No doubt border crossings will elevate. No doubt Americans will be held hostage in exchange for millions of doses of anti-flu. No doubt people will be hammering their doctors for preventative doses even though that is the wrong approach. And no doubt the virus will take the course assigned it by its genetic code, regardless what we do. After all, we can't stop the common cold yet; why would you think the flu, super-flu or mega-flu would be any different? Wine flu on the other hand... Click HERE for the CDC's Swine Flu updates. Click HERE for some information on the Swine Flu Click HERE for an editorial about the panic and the flu. MisterWriter