I received an email this morning informing me of the following...
BRITISH NATIONAL PROMOTION
Agent Name: Mr.Edward Parker.
Email:(edwardparker.03@msn.com)
This is to inform you that you have been
selected for a cash prize of 1,500,000
(British Pounds) held on the 15th of July,
2009 in London(United Kingdom).The
selection process was carried out through
random selection in Our computerized email
selection system (ESS) London Uk, which
you emerge as one of the lucky winner.
Could I get any luckier than that? Out of all the people on the planet, my number came up! 1,500,000 Pounds is the equivalent of $2.44275 million U.S. dollars.
I quickly wrote back (through anonymous email with no track back of course to avoid spam) the following:
Dear Mr. Edward Parker,
How fortunate I am that I was chosen by the ESS to receive this incredible amount of money.
Every day I receive countless emails from around the world advising me that I have won millions of dollars. Most of these are badly written from illiterate morons in some backwards country, however your email came as a delightful surprise.
You can only imagine the expression on my face as I turned to my wife and shouted out "Honey, we're rich. You can quit selling your eggs for the $4000 that was offered on Craigslist and I can stop trying to devise that mail order scam from that get rich quick class I signed up for online. Even better, we won't have to tell the kids that we were planning on killing our pet pig so that I could put meat on the table. As it is she only has three legs because we were already starving.
Because I have no bank account I am going to have to ask for the $2.44275 million U.S. dollars in cash delivered to me under armed guard of course, at the local police station. This is for my security - I'm sure you understand. I will happily pay for the costs involved - you can deduct it from the amount I have won. You did say "cash prize" right?
I shall anxiously await your response and thank you for such good news.
MisterWriter
1 comments:
Alright, I held it together until the line about the pig only having three legs ... TOO damn funny!!! Wonder if I can borrow your language the next time I get yet another miraculous email from a Nigerian with money issues ..?
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